Lately you have been deeply questioning whether or not you and I are "working" and whether or not I "hate" or "love" you. And so here is an irrefutable proof of why I, Joey Carlson, love you, Zoë Hughes.
In order to answer such a pressing question, it is of the utmost importance to first define the key terms within the question. In this case, the key terms are of course "working", "hate", and "love". I will split this up into three sections and define each term at the beginning of each section respectively. Then in each section I will proceed to demonstrate the logical proof of why we are in fact working, why I do not hate you, and why I love you, while maintaining a valid format with sound content. However, before this I must explain how I will maintain a sound argument through a brief exploration into the concept of truth.
I would not argue that truth is relative or subjective. I would in fact argue that stating such a thing is rather foolish and lacks a certain layer of discipline. Stating that truth is relative or subjective in nature as a universal truth creates a rather large and insurmountable paradox, and of course claiming that the relativity of truth is only true to oneself is an invalid argument as it lacks the end of convincing another of itself. And so let us proceed with extreme caution in defining truth. It seems rather undeniable that truth is fundamentally malleable, and the more abstract a concept, the more malleable the truth surrounding it is. And so in argumentation one must rely heavily on the validity and soundness of an argument, that is to say, one must rely on having correct form, and coherent content. And above all, to both the arguer, and the individual, or individuals, receiving the argument, the argument must seem true, and it must feel true, and the conclusion must feel right. Because what is correct is not always what is right. What is right is what feels right. And so we begin with "working".
Term 1: "Working"
To define "working", let us look first to a complex machine, a watch persay, with all of its moving parts, some interchangeable, and some irreplaceable. In order for a watch to "work", it must not only have all of its parts in the correct places, but it must be observed and someone must read the time, lest it rots away to a meaningless existence. A watch which functions properly if it has all of its parts in the correct places, and whether or not someone is there to observe this phenomenon is irrelevant. However a functioning watch with no wearer cannot seem to work because it cannot seem to be anything other than an arrangement of materials, as it is not seen by anyone. Now compare for a moment, our relationship to said watch; it functions properly whether or not we are together for quite a while, but just as a watch without a wrist to go on cannot seem to work, we sometimes cease seeming to work while far apart from each other, and by principle, away from our relationship (to be clear for future reference, it is not our relationship that I refer to in the sense of the love we carry for each other constantly in our hearts). From time to time it doesn't seem like we are "working". That is really just a way of saying that the long distance component of our relationship is sometimes straining. And furthermore, the longer apart we spend the more frequently we seem to be not working, and the less fundamentally sound we are in the functioning of our relationship. This is because the hand which belongs to the owner of the watch must be present in order to wind it up.
Term 2: "Hate"
First and foremost I will make a claim which I am absolutely certain of: I do not, I have never, I never will hate you. Hate is a very dark word which, when taken seriously, is devastating. Hate is seen on a spectrum of emotions one can have towards an individual as the lowest, the deepest, the darkest, and the worst. And so I will prove to you that I cannot hate you by the comparison test. I have ventured into the darkest depths of human emotion and I have been trapped in the deepest pit of hatred and despair towards all existence. However, you pulled me out. You did not push me out, you pulled me out. And thus your existence relative to me must be greater than what hate is relative to me. That is to say, I cannot hate what has saved me from hate because what has saved me from hate must be greater than the hate it saved me from. And what saved me is you.
Term 3: "Love"
Ah love, this is of course the term I have been looking forward to. And of course it is the simplest to prove. Love within society, as used by individuals including myself has become defined so broadly that its essence, its true meaning, is lost. And until you came into my life this remained true. However on a very peculiarly average day, at a rather average park, a phenomenon occurred. You, Zoë Hughes, drastically alternated the course of the universe by completely revolutionizing my definition of love. As I said, the more abstract a concept, the more malleable its truth. And so you morphed my truth around love until it read Zoë Mae Hughes, and once it reached that exactly, something happened. A true phenomenon. My malleable truth around love was hardened into stone. And thus it has remained that way ever since, never to be morphed again, and never to be broken. And so Zoë Hughes, as the definition of love implies that I love you with my whole being, it is irrefutable, irresponsible, foolish, and ultimately a waste of time to say otherwise.
And thus it is written, and it has been proved that we are in fact working, that I do not hate you, and that I love you more than anything in the whole goddam world Zoë. And if that doesn't all feel right, then I don't know what could.
-Joey Carlson
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