More about snacks

I've explained the peanut butter on a rice cake already, but I want to extend that metaphor just a bit farther (further?). See the thing about peanut butter on rice cakes is it makes it appear to be easier to eat, but we all know that rice cakes are fucking nightmares to eat. Crumbs get everywhere, they snap in half, they don't taste that good (lets be honest here, rice cakes kinda fuckin suck). So this kind of sucks right now and we're stuck in a weird place in our relationship, because being together from across the world is just not working. But that sure as hell doesn't mean I won't finish my rice cake until I'm done eating every single crumb. You are still end game for me Joey, you always will be. I think about you all of the time and I NEED you in my life. I am self destructing here without you. That's a lot of pressure, but it's true. You make me such a better person and the lack of influence from you has indeed caused me to spin completely out of control. This spinning is in no way your fault though, it is mine, for placing so much responsibility on you. Back in January when we started talking again I knew it was going to be the hardest fucking thing I would ever do. I knew that this year would probably be one of the worst years of my life, worse than the two years when we didn't talk, but I didn't think it would be like this. This is so hard. I love you so much. I don't know what to do, but I'm going to be better from now on.