So you finally added me to the blog

I miss posting like this quite a bit. So I've decided to start doing it if that's okay. Posts on this have really always meant so so so much to me. I don't know why, I guess it just makes me feels special and meaningful. I finally added my email to be able to edit the blog so that I could stop logging into your account to do it. Even though now when this blog becomes famous because of how adorable we are it will look like you posted the first 30 posts.

Zoë I am literally always thinking about you. As cliché as it sounds, you're the last thing I think about before I go to sleep and the first thing I think of when I wake up. Really always. And quite often I dream about you. Whenever I remember my dreams anyways, you're in them. Sometimes I just sit and remember specific moments and I close my eyes and immerse myself in them. Like how I used to stay up with you in your bed until you fell asleep, and then I would tuck you in and kiss you goodnight and I would be leaving your room and you would softly tell me you love me, and I would say it back and say I'll see you tomorrow. Then I would head home and I would always have such a stupid smile on my face the whole way.

I'll be honest with you, I have asked myself the question of whether or not this is what I want, and I have questioned whether or not something could make me happier. And I've always come to the same answer: it's you and it always will be. There is no one I'd rather be with, and no one that could make me happier. There's no other relationship that could be more meaningful.

Listen I know things are hard right now for us. But it is going to be okay. I just know it. Please don't give up on us Zoë. I really do think that it's worth it. For both of us. I can't imagine that it's easy to love me. In fact I know it's not. But I know that it's not because it's hard to have the raw feelings, it's just about the conditions. But we can change the conditions Zoë, we can be better for each other and thus so much better for ourselves. And we can be better for ourselves and thus better for each other.

I love you with everything I've got. Really and truly. And I will never stop loving you.

-Joey Carlson